When Mom says NO to Home Care

Nobody wants a stranger in their home, nobody wants to share their difficulties with a stranger, no body want someone to criticize what and how they do things. It is an invasion of privacy, a loss of independence, a waste of money. All the reasons that people do not want help in the home. If there is a family caregiver than that person really needs assistance. Family caregivers have had a lifetime of caring for adult family members and are often tired before they start.

There are ways to assist in transition.

1. Start in a gradual manner. Have a caregiver help with grocery shopping on a weekly basis. Meal preparation, errands, changing bed linens and washing on a weekly basis.

2. Always listen to feelings and fears as to why you family member does not want someone in their home. Express an understanding of their feelings and have the family member get involved in choosing who will take over some of the family chores.

3. Explain to the family member that this is for me as I worry about you when I cannot be here as much as I would like. There are some things getting more difficult to do and why not sit back and let someone else do the hard things. I will always come back and check on things, I am not leaving you alone with a stranger.

4. This extra care is prescribed by your doctor. He does not want you to stress over things that keep you from over working your heart.

5. I also need someone to help me clean as I hate doing it but I like to see you in a clean house.

6. This is my friend-this person may be more acceptable if they are a friend to the family member, it helps with trust and rapport. You can always tell the family member that your friend spends too much time alone and needs some company.

This may allow you to find a person who will form a relationship and your family member will learn to trust the caregiver and be comfortable with home care becoming part of the family members daily care.

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